Subtlety for Dummies
by LuLoJavaJunkie89
Summary: Lorelai decides she’s ready for more. But how will she tell Luke without telling Luke? Oh, that’s right, she’s Lorelai. She’ll think of something nutty. (Obviously a JJ-cause there are too few out there)
1. Well I've been thinking

**Subtlety for Dummies**

Background/Summery: It's been three weeks since episode 5.17 (Pulp Friction). Lorelai and Luke are happy together, and Lorelai decides she's ready for more. But how will she tell Luke without _telling _Luke? Oh, that's right, she's Lorelai. She'll think ofsomething nutty.

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A/N: I'm not exactly new to the fan fiction world. I used to write fan fiction for other categories. I've been watching Gilmore girls diligently, so I know my stuff. But I bet you can't guess how many tries it took for me to spell the word embarrassment right! And hey, this quick edit thing wasn't here last time I wrote a chapter (so long ago). I love it!

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Disclaimer: I do not own Gilmore girls or other related characters. So stop leaving those threatening messages on my answering machine!

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**Chapter One**

"Ok, are you ready for this?"

"Ready for what, Mom? It's 8 o'clock on a Sunday!"

"So?"

"So you never wake up any earlier than 10:30 on Sundays, let alone have enough energy for a phone conversation! You're always grumpy!"

"Me? I'm _never_ grumpy!"

"Oh, sure, Mom."

"How can you be so ungrateful to someone who birthed you, put you through school, saved you from humiliation, and ended world hunger?"

"Saved me from humiliation? Mom, you are the very definition of humiliation. Look it up in Webster's! It reads, and I quote, 'Humiliation: Embarrassment. See Lorelai Gilmore"

"Silly daughter, no one uses dictionaries anymore. We use It's high tech and hip. Plus, your name is Lorelai Gilmore too. So therefore you are humiliation, so that means that I saved you from yourself."

Rory rolled her eyes. She wasn't awake enough to have a conversation normally up to her witty standards. After all, it was Sunday morning. She would have asked her mom again why she was up, but she knew that when her mom wanted to get to the point, she would. It was best never to push her when she ranted.

"Oh, that's some great logic there. You should come teach at Yale."

"Ha! Now _that_ would be embarrassment! Having your mommy teaching your class. All the other kids would be jealous." _Oh no, here it comes!_ Rory thought. She always knew when her mom would start making annoying voices, and she sighed in anticipation. "They'd go, 'It's not fair! Rory gets more attention than we do, and she gives Rory perfect grades all the time! The Gilmore's are poopy-heads!'"

"I don't think that anyone at Yale would use language like poopy-heads."

"Well, in my class of Lorelai Logic, I would teach them that it's okay to use those words. Somebody needs to put those snotty smart kids in their place."

"Sometimes I wonder whether I'm related to you at all."

"Well, that's good, because there's something I've been meaning to tell you…"

"Mom…"

"We're actually sisters. You're Emily's daughter too!"

"Mom…"

"No, seriously, that would be really scary! Oh my god, can you imagine my mother pregnant at her age now? It would be a medical miracle!"

"Eww! Gross! You just put a bad mental image in my head!"

"And can you imagine her with crazy hormones? I mean, she's a bitch now…"

"You shouldn't say that about your own mother. Even if she has tried to ruin your life recently."

"Rory?" Her tone was suddenly quiet and uncertain, and Rory wondered what triggered the change. Had she brought up painful memories? Lorelai had yet to show up at Friday Night dinners, even 5 weeks after the breakup.

There was a long pause on the telephone line, and they both knew they were waiting for Lorelai to start up again.

"Um…. I've been thinking…."

"That's unusual."

"Rory," and this time her tone was reprimanding. "I'm serious."

"Sorry."

"Uh…well, I've been thinking…"

"You said that," Rory said gently.

"Yes. Well…I'm soo glad that Luke and I are together…It's such a relief because the break up was so horrible, you know?"

"I know. You were devastated for two weeks."

"And I know we've only been together for 4 months, nearly 5(not counting those two weeks) but it feels like it's been much longer."

"You did wait 8 years."

"Yeah…and so…um…. You know I'm in love with Luke, right?"

"That's been established already."

"Well…. How much do you love him?"

"What?"

"How much do you love him?"

"I love Luke a lot." Rory replied with little hesitation. "He's always been there for us."

"So…you wouldn't mind if Luke became…more permanent?"

"You mean you want Luke to move in with you?"

"No. I mean…I think for the first time in my life I'm ready for…marriage."

Dead silence hung in the air on both sides of the telephone. Rory was in shock.

"You're serious."

"Dead serious. I've never been more serious in my life…except for the time I told my parents I was pregnant. That was pretty serious and life changing too."

"You want to get married?"

"Only if it's to Luke."

Slowly Rory broke out into a smile. Then, she laughed and couldn't stop. As the laughter echoed into the phone, she heard her mom speak.

"Rory? W-why are you laughing? This isn't funny. I wasn't joking. Rory?" She was scared, Rory realized.

"No, mom, I know. I'm sorry. I just—this is great!"

"Really?"

"Yes! This is wonderful! I can't imagine anyone better for you. This is amazing! I'm so happy!" She laughed again and soon Lorelai joined in.

"This is great! This is great!" Finally the two settled down, and Lorelai sounded scared again.

"When did you figure this out?" Rory giggled.

"I've been thinking about it since before the vow renewal. It's just started bugging me so much. Last night I finally did a mental pro and con list and decided for sure.! Luke is the One."

"I always suspected."

"I can't imagine my life without him. At all. You know how I feel apart when he was gone. So I don't want to wait too long."

"This is wonderful, Mom! I want to help you plan it! I'll be the maid of honor, and we can have Sookie as your bridesmaid…and I wonder if Luke will consider Kirk to be his best man? And—"

"Wait!" Lorelai interrupted quickly. "This isn't a sure thing. I don't know if it's what Luke wants. I know I want it," she said quickly as she knew that Rory would ask for confirmation. "But he hasn't said anything or done anything that could resemble a hint. So…last night I couldn't sleep and couldn't stop thinking about this. I came up with a plan."

"Oooh! I love plans!"

"Says Miss. Spontaneous."

"Just tell me, will you?"

"Ok, ok. Well, I don't want to say anything about this to Luke if he's not ready. I don't want to scare him into anything he doesn't want. I know that. So I've decided that I'm not going to _discuss _it with him."

"Mom-"

"No… I've already made that decision. Every marriage offer I've ever gotten has been pushed in one way or another, and I don't want Luke to have to go through that. But… if he _is_ thinking about tying the knot, then I want him to know that I am too so he isn't unsure like I am. That's why I've decided that I'll give him subtle clues that I'm ready for this."

"Like?"

"Like…I don't know. Mentioning someone I know is getting married. Renting My Big Fat Greek Wedding. Stuff like that. If he wants to get married, then he'll read into the clues and know I want to also. If not, then, well, the clues won't hurt anything. Hopefully."

"Mom, how could he not want to get married?"

"Well, maybe he does a little, but he did have a horrible first marriage and he could be reluctant to do it again. Or worried that the same thing might happen to him."

"You never did tell me what ended up ending his marriage. I went away on spring break and when I came back he was single again."

"Uh…well, I don't know if he wants people to know about it. It's really personal. I'll ask him sometime if it's alright."

"Okay. Oh-someone's on the other line, and Lane said she would call me sometime soon. I've got to go. But good luck with the whole hinting thing!"

"So you're ok with this? You give us your blessing?"

Rory grinned. "I give you my blessing." She hung up, still grinning, and opened the line to Lane.

"Lane, why are you calling? It's 8 in the morning on a Sunday!"


	2. Operation Marry Luke

Sorry it's been about a week and a half, guys. I tried. I really did. I've got spring break this week, so I should get some more out here during the week too.

Thanks for all the great reviews. I love you all:) And yes, of course this story will have a happy ending. J/J should always be happy (though every good one has to have a _little_ angst.)

Uh...please review, and Happy Easter!

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Chapter Two: Operation Marry Luke

Lorelai pranced around her living room joyfully. Rory was okay with it! _She_ was okay with it! She wanted to be married to someone specific for the first time in her life. She wanted to live the rest of her life with someone who knew her as well as her daughter, someone who loved her and cared for her. She could not hold in her laughter, and she suddenly fell onto the couch and cackled uncontrollably. When was the last time she was so happy? She couldn't remember. Luke made her happy. She wanted Luke forever.

_I'm glad Luke isn't here to see this. He would call the men with the butterfly nets to come and take me away. _She thought, thanking the Business Hour Gods that made him leave to open the diner so early. Briefly she wondered whether she should go to Luke's that morning, scared that he would think something was up. In the end she decided it was worth the risk, so she skipped, literally skipped, to her favorite place to eat. Countless townspeople stared after her.

And up she skipped to the counter before anyone could even register the bell above the diner door. Luke had his back turned to the coffee machine, so she sneaked behind the counter and up to his ear.

"Hey Luke!" She screamed, and he jumped, startled,as she broke out into laughter.

"That wasn't funny, Lorelai." He grumbled.

"Thirty feet in the air!" She choked.

"I jumped_ three inches_ in the air."

"You were so scared! I'm soo stealthy!" He snorted.

"I should be a detective. Or 007. Ooh, I could be the bond girl!"

"Except that would make me James Bond, and I don't feel up to accepting any missions today, but if you call back later…"

"Dirty, and it doesn't matter because we all know that the girl was the brains of the operation anyway."

"Lorelai, don't startle me like that. I could have spilled the coffee." She gasped.

"Oh no! Well, I'm sorry, Luke, I'll never do it again."

"How can you be so awake before coffee when you only got zero and a half hours of sleep?"

"Oh my gosh! How did you know I only got zero and a half hours?"

"Because that's what you told me when the alarm clock woke us both up this morning."

"I don't know. I'm just excited. Peppy. Happy." She flashed him a smile that meant 'if only you knew'.

"Well I guess that means you don't need any coffee this morning." He grabbed the pot and walked away to a table in the back.

"On the contrary: it means that I'll need double the coffee so I can retain my ultimate high. Now hand me the pot." Luke refilled two people's mugs who happened to be staring amusedly at the couple.

"Druggie."

"I thought I was a junkie." She corrected, and lunged for the pot. He spun around so the pot was out of reach.

"Lorelai, sit down. I'll pour you some in a second!" He said impatiently. Anxious for her elixir of life, she sat at the counter again and began to beg like a dog. Seeing this, Luke rolled his eyes and went behind the counter, suddenly revealing a hidden coffee cup.

"Luke!" She cried, exasperated.

"What? I got you coffee."

"But you pored it for me before I even got here, so all this time when I was waiting for a cup I could have already had one! Mean!"

"I do my best." He gave a half smile.

"So…um, do you have any plans for tonight? Cause I was thinking we could do a movie night." _Phase one put into action_

"Sounds good…as long as _I_ get to pick the movie. No more stupid romantic comedies." _That won't do at all! _She thought.

"Oh, please Luke? There's just one that I've been dying to see…"

"Oh god… if it's Bring It On, I'm going to kill myself."

"Of course it's not Bring it On! Really, Luke, where have you been? I've _already _seen that movie at least three times! No, the movie I wanted to see was So I Married an Axe Murderer!"

"And why would you want to see that? I've never even heard of it!"

"For the same reason I watch everything else: the mocking!"

"Oh, that."

"And Two-Word Man strikes again! Able to convey whole sentences, paragraphs, hell, even important government documents with just two words! You're bilingual!"

"Bilingual means you can speak two different languages."

"That's nothing special. I can speak three: English, Uompa Lumpa, and Lorelai Thought."

"Lorelai thought?"

"Yes. It's very rare to know. Like Pig latin, only rarer..er."

"Pig latin isn't-" He started, but Lorelai interrupted.

"Basically the Lorelai Thought language is the ability to translate what goes on in my head and some of the stuff that comes out of my mouth into English. Only three people have any talent in that: Rory, you, and, thought I hate to admit it, my mother."

"You're serious?"

"It's amazing…sometimes she actually knows what I'm thinking. It's probably mother's intuition or something. Like, for example…"

"Please don't talk about your mother."

"…I know I'm not on the best of terms with her right now, but she does know what she's talking about with a few things. Like, for example, she told me that you should choose a man who knows how to pick her jewelry." Lorelai smiled and flipped her hair so that the earrings and necklace that Luke gave her were visible.

"And she also—"

"Kirk! Don't bring that _thing_ in here! This is a place where people eat!" Luke stormed off before she could finish her thought and went over to a cowering Kirk who had something concealed in his palms.

Lorelai sighed sadly. She had planned to mention thather mother guessed that she wanted to be married,in not so many words, and how her mother had once told her that she would get married in the diner (she had denied it at the time, of course). Well, she'd just try again.

Luke stomped over. "Stupid Kirk brought his new parakeet in here. God, seriously, I wish I hadn't told him to move out. Ever since then he's been on a freedom trip and done so many stupid things. That's the last time I ever give him advice."

"Maybe it's good that he has freedom now. I mean, we all know that Kirk's mother hates Lulu, but this way they can move foreword. You know, progress in their relationship, get married…"

Lorelai was struggling to draw a parallel here, because she absolutely loved drawing parallels and recognizing symbolism.

"It's kind of funny that my mom doesn't like you and his mom doesn't like Lulu. We're going through the same thing…" She elaborated. Luke's face was stone.

"Please don't compare our lives to Kirk's. It's too disturbing." He stated, and went to deliver someone's fries.

Lorelai watched him walk away, slightly disappointed that he didn't respond. Oh, well. _There are ways to make you speak…or think…or propose. Whatever._ She decided that she never like that quote anyway, and began more planning for Operation Marry Luke. _Ugg!_She thought, and instead began planning a new name with a cool sounding acronym for Operation Marry Luke


	3. Dream Weaver

Chapter Three: Dream Weaver

Lorelai bounced into the kitchen at the inn after Luke's with a bright smile plastered on her face. Sookie noticed how happy she seemed to be, and assumed it was because she and Luke were finally back together.

"Aww, look at you, so happy about Luke!" Sookie cooed. Lorelai gave her a look.

"How do you know what I'm happy about?"

"Well, you are Luke are finally back together, and you're ecstatic!"

Lorelai smirked. "No, that's not the main reason I'm so smiley. I've decided something."

"Uh oh. What?" Sookie asked apprehensively.

"No, nothing bad. It's just….I finally had to tell someone, so I called Rory this morning…but I've wanted this for a long time…"

"What, honey?"

She grinned and leaned in to Sookie's ear. "I want to marry Luke." Sookie's face broke out into a grin nearly matching Lorelai's and she squealed.

"Oh! That's great, Lorelai! Has he asked you? Ooh, are you gonna ask him, and be a modern woman? When do you want to have the wedding? Can I help plan it?" Sookie cheered, jumping up and down.

"Wait, Sookie!" When her friend calmed down, she continued. "I don't know if this is what Luke wants. He might not want to get married at all."

"What do you mean, Lorelai? Why wouldn't he?"

"Well, his first marriage didn't go so well, and I don't know if it's too soon for a second one. I also don't know if he wants to commit to me. Or he might not think _I'm_ ready. But I don't want to ask h ism directly, or pressure him, or anything like that. So I've decided that I'm going to give him subtle clues. Like a game, sort of. I'll mention a wedding movie, or talk about your wedding or something…just to see how he reacts. Maybe he'll see that I want it or something."

"I hope that works, Lorelai. I'm so happy for you! This is the first time you've truly wanted to be married!"

"I know." Lorelai smiled.

As soon as she was done at the inn, Lorelai rushed to the movie store and rented three movies: So I Married an Axe Murderer, My Best Friend's Wedding, and A Wedding Story._ Luke _had_ to notice the theme_, she thought. At her house she set up all of the junk food and ordered a pizza and a salad, but that took no time at all. She was anxious for him to come; for some reason she was more excited about the wedding thing than anything before. Eager to produce more plans, she sat down and made a list of tactics.

_First I need a cool name with a cool acronym. _She decided.

_Operation Make him Guess _Was her first option. The letters spelled out OMG, but she didn't like it enough.

Operation _Stealthily make him Propose Or Run off with Kirk_? Well, the acronym was interesting, but the latter part of the phrase was just wrong.

_I'll just go with Operation Make him Guess for now_ she concluded as the doorbell rang. Startled, she jumped up to answer it.

"Luke!" She exclaimed excitedly as she flung open the door, only to be disappointed when it was Freddy the Pizza boy. "Oh, hey Freddy." She handed him the money and took the salad and pizza from him, shutting the door exasperatedly. Checking the clock, she realized that Luke was half an hour later than he told her he would be. She sighed, and decided that she would get started on one of the movies without him.

Halfway through the movie, Luke still hadn't shown, and she was getting antsy even thinking of the mere subject of a wedding, so she stopped the movie and called his cell phone. He didn't answer, and it went straight to voice mail so she didn't even bother to leave a message and called the diner instead. Lane answered.

"Lukes"

"Hi, Lane. It's Lorelai. Is Luke there?"

"No, actually he's not. He told me about an hour ago that he was going to the bank."

"Ok. Thanks. Can you tell him to call when he gets in?" She had a feeling he had forgotten about their date that morning.

"Of course. Bye."

She hung up and suddenly felt disappointed and tired. Lying back down on the couch, she rested her eyes for _just_ a minute, but couldn't escape her sleep.

_Lorelai was wearing a beautiful, long, white dress and standing next to Luke in the bright summer sun. They were both facing a priest, and she realized she was at her wedding. She looked at Luke in a tux and sighed happily. Tears of joy streamed down her face, but her attention was suddenly drawn to the priest when she realized he was talking to her._

"_I do!" She said automatically without hesitation or prompting. The priest did not look taken aback at all, but instead turned to Luke, whose eyes had been staring foreword the whole time. _

"_And do you?" Asked the priest sternly. Luke looked straight at the man, and then looked down at the rice-covered ground for a long moment. Lorelai realized that she and the whole audience were holding their breath, waiting for his answer. Finally, he looked at Lorelai, gulped, then turned to the priest and opened his mouth…_

And Lorelai woke up, sweating slightly, to the sound of the telephone ringing. Grumbling at the horrible interruption, she grabbed the phone.

"Hello?" She asked, annoyed.

"Hey Lorelai." It was Luke definitely, and she her mood sunk a little lower when she remembered that he stood her up. "You called me earlier?"

"Yeah… I did." She frowned. "Luke, didn't you remember about tonight?"

He heard the hurt in her voice, and suddenly remembered that morning's movie date. "Oh, jeeze, I completely forgot! I'm so sorry, Lorelai. I had a bank meeting, and that lasted for ever, and when I got back I was so tired and Lane told me you called…"

"It's okay, Luke." She sighed sadly.

"I didn't leave you waiting, did I?"

"Well, no, not really. I started watching My Best Friend's Wedding, but fell asleep." No _way_ she was going to tell him her dream, even though his lack of response at the wedding was plaguing her mind.

"I'm really sorry. How about we reschedule for tomorrow?"

"That sounds good."

"So I'll see you tomorrow morning?"

"You bet."

"Goodnight, Lorelai."

"Night, Luke. I love you-" but she spoke the last of her sentence to the dial tone. He had hung up. They had already told each other that they were in love, but she liked to hear it confirmed every now and then…especially after a dream like the one she just had.

She was torn between being angry that the phone call interrupted her dream so she wouldn't know Luke's answer, and being glad that it did because she was afraid of what his answer would be.

Still a little sad that Luke had basically stood her up, she trudged up to bed and had another fitful dream.

"_Lorelai, you look so beautiful" Her mother sniffed proudly, wiping her eye with a tissue. _

_Lorelai turned to her mom and the two shared one of their few, cherished, mother-daughter moments. Rory walked over to her and gave her a huge hug._

"_I'm so happy, Mom. You deserve this." By now, Lorelai was crying, and she stuck the tiara on her forehead while gazing at herself in the mirror._

"_I'm happy too, Rory. God, I thought this would never happen!"_

"_You're not nervous, are you?" Rory asked with trepidation. The whole town had been looking at her warily, afraid that she would run just like she had last time. _

"_Not at all." She answered truthfully. "I'm ready to be married!" She smiled, and then they stood in line, ready to step outside when the organ started. _

_They stood in line for several minutes, impatient, until finally Rory shrugged and assumed that the organ player was off drunk again (this had happened at the rehearsal a few days ago) She stepped out of sight. Then Emily was next, Sookie went, Mia soon after, Liz after that, and finally Lorelai and Richard stepped out into the bright sun. At first they couldn't see anything because of the abundance of light, but Lorelai's tears were clogging her eyes anyway. The both of them heard whispers around the guests, but thought nothing of it. When they got closer to where the Minister stood, Richard stopped suddenly, and Lorelai wiped the happy tears out of her eyes to see why. Then she understood why there was no music and why there were whispers. _

_Luke was gone. He was not standing at the alter at all. Every one else was in the right place, but there was an empty space next to her. Tears began to fall again, this time not out of happiness. "W-where is he?" She asked anybody, searching for an answer. She turned to Rory "Where's Luke?" Rory gave her a pitiful look, and Lorelai couldn't stand it. "Wh-what happened to Luke?" She asked the crowd, near hysterical, and all they could do was shrug and look sorry for her. Miss Patty came up to her and hugged her tightly, tears in her eyes. _

"_He didn't show, sweetie." She whispered in Lorelai's ear. And Lorelai collapsed right there, in the middle of the isle, in her billowing wedding dress._

She woke up suddenly, having had a much worse dream than before. It took her a moment to realize that there were tears in her eyes, and she swiped them away angrily. It was just a stupid dream. It was all in her mind. Her brain had subconsciously realized that Luke stood her up for a date, and placed that in a wedding context. She sat up and hugged her knees to her chest, wishing that Luke were sleeping next to her.

Fitfully, she tried to go back to bed, but did not get any sleep at all.


End file.
